You step onto the transporter pad. It looks rather like a Federation pad, but somehow not. A couple of men in outrageously colored uniforms are exchanging pointless banter over a control console. You're pretty sure that one of them has a coffee stain on his shirt, and the other has what would appear to be a can of shaving cream stuck in his phaser holster. They await your order to "energize". Or, at least you think they would be if they were paying any attention to the fact that you are in the room.